My Stalker story…

Well I came in yesterday and I had a pack of donuts on my desk. I was like “who da fauk”. She came sashe’ing round the corner with this big @ss ‘I did it’ smile on her face. I gave her back the donuts and claimed health issues. I gave my office buddy a look as if ‘get this b!tch’. She stepped in for me and ran interference.

So… the day went on and I was perplexed. I have had internet stalkers, real life stalkers, and imaginary stalkers, but never a work-place stalker. I took it upon my self to holler at this broad about this situation. I went to her office and I asked could I holler at her for a minute. She got this fawkin kool-aid grin as if I was bout to give her the bo-zack. NOT! I explained that in 1991 I dated this fine mofo name “T”. She was the hottest chick in the building and my monkey dunk @ss snagged her one day at the copy center. We (T and I) dated about nine months actually… but it seemed like years basaed on the ‘drama’ that followed the break up.

When we were together…most people knew it. But when we broke up… EVERYONE knew it. I was getting hit on my every female who hated her and every female who liked her but wanted to get at me (cause for some reason if one want you… they all want you, but when you single NO one wants you - da hell is that about. But that’s another story). Anyway... the break up was bad cause she wanted to be with me and I wanted it over, then when I came around to wanted her back, she aint want me. That went on for months. Fast foward to today (yesterday) I told her that that experience jaded me from dating or being interested in workplace romances. While I was flattered by her gesture, I think that she should not do ‘things’ that could be misinterpreted by me or others.

SIDENOTE: (Stole the sidenote thing from Dynasty)… When you tell someone you are married or have an s/o – often times they don’t get the picture. You have to actually say NO I AM NOT INTERESTED and even then…. Well you know what the issues are here! I don’t think she was gonna give a dang, in my *Flava Flav voice* she was on ya boy Flav!

Back to the story… she said she respected that and played it like she was hitting on me. *I fueled the fire* I said... ‘why not?’ winked and laffed it off. She stated that she didn’t mean to give me the wrong impression and that she didn’t want to make me feel ‘pressured’ (I liked to died laffing). Without a doubt… to ease her pain or my perceive pain she was going thru – I told her that if we aint work together, I was 10 yr younger, lived in Manassas, and like salad – her and I could be a couple that the world would envy. She smiled and felt better I hope. I told her we have to do lunch one day so she can tell me about her job and her role in the organization.

NO I am not leading her on… I kept it professional and made her feel ‘important’ workwise. Its all about managing people. I happen to be a ‘great’ manager of people and personalities. Trust me on this one… however, I do find that my personality ‘draws’ a great deal of attention and unwanted (and surprisingly to me) attraction from women. My ex said its cause I am charming and naïve at times to my ‘aura’. But what the hell she know…


Randomness:
1) Office fans are kool… until the owner farts.
2) Hazelnut coffee is oh so good!
3) This weekend… I am having wake up sex (I hope)
4) Drinks with an old friend would be nice. Specially cause her lips are umm umm good to look at.
5) Yall lookin for a kool breeze…STOP. You got to get your own!
6) Condaleeze Rice is hot in so many non-physcial ways.